Lately, I have not been feeling good...emotionally, mentally and morally. Studying here has been a revelation to an extent, can be too much to digest or gulp. It is not about the difficulty in language and understanding but mainly, the realization of things around us. Being conscious politically or mostly being aware of humanism. I talked to a classmate who I really think understands what had been going on about the need to disorient ourselves and taking every bit of truth with a whole load of salt. About how, we have been manipulated all this while for the good and bad . It is not totally wrong but at least made us aware but will we obey if we are knowledgeable of the agenda?
I really felt like locking myself away from the world except with the company of my husband. I do not want to converse with other people. I just feel helpless and guilty- primarily, for telling people to be concern of their life and putting food on the table when in fact, knowledge is not all about that. Guilty as hell too to the Palestinians as I realised it is no longer about religious conflict but mainly, the dangers of racism. Sadly in this millenium right under our liberal nose, culture superiority still exists. This do not give any exception to my beloved country although I am glad that probably, majority of us are harmonious people. I really cannot say it...it is just too heart-breaking even though I would love to make people aware of the Rohingya issue. I just teared looking at vids of racial oppression existing in SEA, the region that I am so proud to be from. Friends in FB think that I am having a tough time studying. They just do not know that it is not that. I just cannot explain it. I just cannot bear to break their happiness especially when I see the happy posts of their daily life. I wish I can reach out to my beloved students to open their eyes and do something for the good of human. Do something to stop all these prejudice. By doing something, I mean NOT by starting a JIHAD or a revolution but to ERASE the mindset that you are superior than anyone , that you have the right to treat others badly or degrade them just because they are different from what you think and you have the right to decide for them. Arrogance a devious trait, root of injustice, blinds one from respect.
Ya Allah, You really made me realize only You can be the just ruler of this world. You never judge us although You know our fate and destiny. You never decide for us although you already know what we will choose. But Please Allah, Please make our rulers in this world just and fair. Please make the Israelis realize their mistake and repent so that their future generation will not oppress the Palestinians and other races.Please protect the innocents of racial and any kind of prejudice. Please Allah eliminate Orientalism. Please guide me, my husband and my family. Grant me the strength to do good in life and spread Your good words. Amin.
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